Teen mom's a certified pill popper

Reliable source, The National Enquirer, reports that reality "star" Amber Portwood of MTVs "Teen Mom" fame is reportedly addicted to a Keith Moonian array of prescription pills.

According to the article, "her doctor prescribed Klonopin for her anger problems, and Tramadol for back pain. But she gets hydrocodone, morphine, Vyvanse and Adderall from drug dealers and pals. She mixes the pills with vodka and tequila, and if she keeps it up, she's going to kill herself or someone else!"

Sure, mothers the world over have been turning to their "little helpers" since the dawn of time or at least since the dawn of Valium, but until recently this was done in secret and relative obscurity. But this brutish girl, who has been convicted of spousal abuse and has had her daughter taken away from her at least once by Indiana child protection services, is fodder for entertainment and incredibly well-known. (According to, USA Today, the second season premiere of Teen Moms had 1.5 million more viewers than this season's finale of Mad Men.)

If reality TV is a mirror (or twisted lens) into our cultural obsessions, then Amber Portwood is a hell of a phamaceutical spokeswoman.

Via Perez Hilton.